It’s really starting to disgust me how little ambition and motivation I have right now. And another thing, why is is that I am never satisfied? I am just beating myself up over things that are inconsequential. It’s just being home for the summer has been a huge bummer so far, and I really hate that other people make me feel this way. I need to get out of my own head. It will ALL be fine, and I am golden. I will make my own fun, I will make my own decisions, I WILL NOT let some guys make me feel a certain way about myself. I am leaving for a wonderful week and a half vacation with my family in 13 days, so I am going to make the most of my time in Owasso, even if it means swallowing my pride and getting out of my comfort zone. I think I know what my problem is, and it’s trying to project this false image of perfection, when it comes to my social life, my dating life, my achievements, and so on. But, the truth is, I am probably going to spend most of my summer with my family, maybe see a couple of people that I really want to, but who really won’t give me the time of day, wait patiently, almost pathetically, for a text from either of the two guys I’m seeing (one of which is my ex - hookup who really screwed me over once before, and, let’s face it, is only going to do it again, and the other who is not wanting to date, but just be casual friends, and who talks to me whenever it is convenient), and lament about how I wish I was more creative and was making everything I could find on Pinterest and StumbleUpon. And to admit that it’s okay not to be perfect. Like I said, I will be fine. I always am.

Bending Light

Refraction patterns made by light passing through various glass and other transparent objects.